Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Hearts, Cupids, and Such: Perspective of a Single Girl

True Confession #1: I've never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. (Eek!)

Being single on Valentine's Day, I could sit here and rant and rave on what a crock of a holiday it is. How's it's a ploy by candy and card companies to increase their sales during a blah time of year. But this blog is not about that. Nope, not this year. 

You know I used to think it was this unavoidable stigma not to have a significant other on what is supposed to be the most romantic day of the year. Like when I walked around everyone would see and know and judge... Walking around with the word "Single" stamped across my buttocks in big letters like half the pajama pants at Victoria's Secret. This resulted in many a V-day where I was sullen, lonely, sad and tempted to eat my self-hatred out in the form of a whole bag of Fritos.

This was back in a time of my life where I felt I needed others to show me who I was. Needless to say I wasn't in a very good place at the time. But as the years have passed and I've become more comfortable in my own skin than ever before, I've realized that there's no reason to resent Valentine's Day. As long as I'm happy where I am and with who I am, isn't that all that matters?

Now I'm not saying that I am not interested or looking for that comforting and consuming love that we all aspire to find. Some days I want nothing more than a solid body and pair of arms to just hold me. I've just come to find (wait for the hokey after school special music...) that I will never be truly happy with anyone else until I'm happy with myself.

I've spent years trying to come to this point and believe I'm closer than ever. I may not be actively seeking love out for the time being, but I'm confident that if it's meant to happen for me, then it will when the time is right. I've also come to the truth that if it's not meant for me (and sadly it might not be) then I'll be okay too.

In short, a lesson it took me nearly 10 years to deduce...

Being single does not mean there's anything wrong with me!

These revelations I've come across have allowed me to start looking at this holiday with hope and joy instead of loneliness and half a dozen Snickers bars. Today even, the worst I found myself doing was giving someone's flower arrangement the stink eye, out of jealousy. (Hey, I'm a female like any other and am conditioned to want to receive flowers). But even as I did that, I realized that I am in a very different place than I was 10 or more years ago.

So until Mr. Right comes (or doesn't) then I have resolved to just be content in where I am. Enjoy life as is. Do what I want to do. Who knows, maybe in those endeavors to find my passion in life someday, I'll come across someone looking for the same things at the same time.

It may be hokey, and idealistic, but that's just the way I see it.

To all you happily married/dating couples out there! Have a wonderful Valentine's Day! Enjoy life and every moment. And everyone out there try to dwell on the positive and not so much the negative. Think the world may be a better place if we all did.



  1. Such a great outlook. It's not an easy place to get to. I've found, from having Valentine's Day both with and without a boyfriend, that it's never quite the day I hope it will be. I don't know if I expect too much or what. I need to work toward just letting it be what it is.

    I found myself giving someone's flowers the stink eye too.

    It took me a long time to love just being me, and when I did I found someone. You'll get there, but it's defintely a journey. I found it fun though!

    1. As women, I kinda feel we've been built up since childhood (and those little flimsy rip-apart Valentine's cards) to expect much more out of Valentine's Day than usually happens. And as with many other expectations, they often fall short. But it is nice to get some kind of acknowledgement on the day ;) Hope your guy did something special for you!

      Sometimes you just gotta enjoy the journey right?

  2. Amen, amen, and AMEN! Get it girl. :)